Weekly Horoscope
Sunday, October 23, 2005
The 2025 Annual Forecasts are available for pre-order. Annual Forecasts will be sent via e-mail on January 1st.
All Signs
"A hurricane only lasts for a day." It's true. Good things are on the horizon. This week both the Sun and Jupiter move into Scorpio - the sign of Marquis de Sade and Mother Teresa. No energy is more powerfully uplifting and transforming than Scorpio. Jupiter was in Scorpio in 1958-59; 1970; 1982; 1994 and now 2006. Yay! This bodes well for Cancer and Pisces (both fellow Water Signs.) Virgo and Capricorn love this shift as well. (They're kissing' cousins.) People are going to get serious about improving things and cleaning up their act. I'm not talking just organic bologna - I'm talking Planet Earth, recycling - the whole shebang. (Scorpio doesn't fool around.) Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to surf the net - you'll never hear from him again.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Things are getting comfy cozy for your sign. Starting this week (and you'll notice this in the next month) for the next 18 months, people will be kinder and more generous to you. (We like.) You don't even have to do anything special to deserve this. It's as if your name came up on some special wish list somewhere. Inheritances, gifts, goodies, favours, perks and little (or big!) advantages through others just start coming your way! Do not question this generosity. Accept it graciously. Privately your sex life will heat up too. (The only catch is you have to have one.) New relationships that begin now are intense and the stuff of movies. (Whew!)
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
In the next 4-6 weeks, your focus is definitely on serious relationships and partnerships. This is the only time all year that you'll look at these relationships in your life with this much depth. What's it all about Alphie? Is your life enriched by partnering with someone or not? Do you win or lose if you commit to a partnership? If you're in a relationship, you have to ask yourself - are you as good for your partner as he or she is for you? Jupiter encourages benefit to you through others now - intimate partnerships, professional partnerships, relationships with experts, and relationships with people from other lands and cultures. You might meet someone older, wiser or wealthier than you. Jupiter is Daddy Warbucks.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Your job is going to improve so much in the next 12-18 months -- it's laughable. Your evil boss will go south for the winter. (And stay there.) You might find new work, new duties, or new surroundings. Something happens in the next few months to majorly transform your employment scene. That's not all. Your health is going to improve too. (Are you taking Co-Q10? Selenium? Eating lots of fruits and veggies?) You're a reader. You know the drill. And what about exercise? Pushing 50? Running up charge cards? Jumping to conclusions? Stretching the facts? You're going to get in shape this year unless good food defeats you. (And it might.) A little more Pinot Grigio?
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Tra la, tra la - you ain't had it this good for soooooooo long! This month sets the tone for a fun-loving, sexy, playful, creative, romantic year ahead. (Mom always liked you best.) Once every 12 years, one sign gets all the goodies. Yup - this coming year, it's your turn. Yeehaw! Expect to be more involved with working with children, the arts, show business, the entertainment world and the hospitality industry. A vacation is a guarantee. (Everyone takes a vacation when Jupiter hits them right - even people who don't take vacations!) Test your flirting skills. Tap in to your creative talents. Enjoy your good fortune.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Your home is your castle. (Royalty has to live somewhere.) In the next year, you're gonna love your home. And you're gonna love your family. And you might even expand your family or your domestic wealth in some way. (Anything from a baby, to a grand piano, to a hot tub.) (Oh? It's gonna be the 42"plasma?) You like to do things over the top, and the year to come promises you feelings of joy and prosperity through your home and family. Yes, this applies to real estate speculation as well. Talk to parents. Invite the gang over. Spread out the food and drink. (Don't forget balloons and candles.)
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
The year ahead is very promising because your tendency to worry about perfecting little things (to the point where it drives you nuts) is going to dissolve in a gentle, happy puddle. Not a wishy-washy dreamy puddle. (They can get you in trouble.) This is a happy solid one -- more like chocolate pudding. In a word - you'll be happier! I don't know why. The details of your life are yours; but I know you'll be happier. It's connected with optimism. For some reason, you've decided you have a future. There is a tomorrow. With fluffy towels, full cable, and a stocked fridge. Maybe even great sex. (Virgos never overlook the healthy, rejuvenating, exciting, intoxicating benefits of sex.)
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
As Jupiter moves into Scorpio this week, it paves the way for what might be called your rescue year. The next 18 months will rescue you from the debts accrued by your impeccable good taste. (Even Dolly Parton says, "Do you know how much it costs to look this cheap?") Dolly however, is a Capricorn. You are not. To be fair, I admit you'll continue to spend - a lot. But you'll earn the scratch to cover your bills. In fact, some of you might earn a lot. Jupiter attracts opportunities your way to either earn more in your current job or get a better one or both. Remember to be generous. If you want cash to flow to you, you have to know how to let it go.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Tell me you read All Signs first. No? Go back. Right now. Check out those years. Do they ring a bell, Pavlov? You're back on Broadway again! Jupiter is now in your sign bringing you more opportunities, helpful people, increased joy, happiness, wealth and (gulp) possibly more weight. (Astrology is realistic and god forbid, you won't suffer from famine.) This is your year to clean up. Your career is clearly working - or not. And you're blessed with moneybags Jupiter in your sign. You wanted more? This helps you be patient with touchy partners. (Isn't cash a wonderful lubricant?)
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Think of yourself as someone poised on a 10 metre platform, getting ready for a back flip; or perhaps setting out at dawn from your base camp to climb K2. (I know from nothing. To me outdoors is where the car is.) The point is this: this is your time of preparation. Study, work, plan, prepare, work out, strategize, build, demonstrate, do the grunt work, do the missionary work, do whatever it takes so that in 2 years you're ready to take a bow. This isn't a rehearsal. This is the real deal. Mars is helping you work hard now. Bonus! Lie low during the next 4-6 weeks. Get rest. Work behind the scenes. "Can you hear me now?"
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You're gonna love the increased popularity in the year ahead. And it starts to kick in right now. Everyone wants to see your face. The phone is ringing. You're in demand. Not only do friends want to meet for coffee, dinner or a game - your colleagues and co-workers will make demands on your time as well. Clubs, organizations, and associations also want your attendance. Start keeping track of your social calendar so you don't disappoint others with a no-show. Talk to people. Discuss your future goals. Their feedback will be helpful. (Power corrupts; but absolute power is kinda neat.)
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
This week moneybags Jupiter moves to the top of your chart. "Hi Mom!" It hasn't been there since 1994. You're back, and this time you know how to work the audio controls. "Now hear this. Now hear this." Your career has never looked better! It's all about you this year. Jupiter will make sure you impress the Grand Fromage. No doubt about it. Opportunities abound. Good things come your way. New job opportunities, a raise, praise, kudos, the works. And your success is evident to others. ("Who was that masked man?") You need this break. Relationships have been tough. It's wonderful to know you're appreciated, admired and your peanut gallery is still waiting in the wings.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
You'll definitely get marvelous opportunities to travel or return to school or get extra training in some way now and in the next year - maybe longer. Your ability to expand your experience of the work is going to be better enhanced than it's been since 1994. Your desire to learn more about life and your chance to fulfill this desire beautifully come together now. Many will go back to school or jet off for foreign skies. Publishing and the media are also areas that get a marvelous boost! Life becomes richer and more exciting. Naturally you'll have to buy new boots to go to these places. (Sexy but practical, of course.)
