Well I got to that place where one jumps off into the unknown and beyond beliefs there is that place of nothingness. So falling back I've read a mountain of material in 9 yrs incl. Buddhism beyond belief but I can't quite get a grip on what my life is to be about now.....except perhaps creativity. That until you know beyond right and wrong you can't create that well.
At the time Dec 2002 with Neptune at the apex of my chart conj. Aq. moon it felt like my life was over with a crash. Highest attainment for this lifetime. I feel like I'm about to go into a depression because I can't find a value or goal from hereare. Even if it seems to be this or seems to be that there is that knowledge of beyondness - that sense of having lived my life for that point -That knowledge that all is ultimately me. Higher me, but me. to want love is to want that.
Should I go to a Buddhist temple in Vancouver and ask? but they often don't seem to speak english. I went to a little one here just to sit. Even Buddhism beyond Belief talks about overdoing the Buddhist angle - you know getting so caught up in the ism's. I'm getting awfully bored but that could be venus approaching pluto in Leo by progression. I've tried astrology readings but they never stick. So I'm moving but then I'll have less money to explore the way.
dear oh dear Georgia what must I do?
I really don't know what to say. You seem to be looking for something to give your life meaning. But as I see it - your life does have meaning.
It is rare to be born a person. I believe in lives before this lifetime and lives afterward. Furthermore, I believe there is more than one world system - the universe is vast!
If you think for a moment, about how many insects there are in Stanley Park - - the number is mind-boggling.
But what about the number or insects in BC? Or in Canada?? Or on planet Earth. An unimaginable number!!!
Yet - if you are on a rocket, pulling away from Earth - and you look back over your shoulder --what do you see? A planet that is 4/5ths covered by water!
Wow! All those insects on land - and yet just think of all the life forms in the oceans!! Beyond comprehension!
Then think: there are so few people on Earth that we actually count ourselves - and each one of us has a name. Compared to other life forms - on this planet alone... (and there have to be trillions of worlds systems elsewhere) human begins are indeed very rare!
It is not easy to be born into this human body. Far easier to be born a fish in the sea.
Therefore, if you have the good fortune to have this rare precious birth - do not waste it. I think the most satisfying and rewarding activities we can engage in are helping others. When we are able to help others - we feel happier; and we feel more self respect, and more self love, and more contentment being who we are.
The book The Art of Happiness by Howard Cutler is a very worthwhile book to read. You might want to look at it...
All good things,