Dear Georgia,

...I still miss my mother who was born November 24th who would have been 84 this November....we were so close, I just always expected to see her in my dreams....wishful thinking. I do feel she is always with me as I go about my day.


Dear Laurel,

I believe it is definitely possible to see your mother in your dreams...

In Western science - dreams are an extension of our awakened state - i.e. this is Wednesday and I am awake, and now it is Wednesday night, and this same mind is now asleep dreaming.

However, in Buddhism (and this surprised me when I learned it) - your dream state is a completely different Bardo.

The word bardo means "between" - so there is

  • a Bardo of Birth - (the time when you start being born until you're finally born.)
  • a Bardo of Life - (the time between being born and dying.)
  • a Bardo of Death - (the time when you start to die until you have finally died.)
  • a Bardo between death and rebirth - this is what mosst people think of when they hear the term the "bardo".
and there is also a Bardo of Dreams.

[and technically there is a big bardo that holds all the other bardos.]

Many high teachers have received teachings and instructions from their own teachers in their dreams.

In the dream state, it is relatively easy for us to discover that we are dreaming... and apparently, this so called awakened state we call life is a big dream as well.

"Row, row, row your boat - gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily - life is but a dream!"

But that is harder to grasp.

I pray for my father and brother every day - they have passed on - but they are certainly somewhere! Even Western science says matter is neither created nor destroyed.

They were either reborn in this world system or in another world system... so I pray for their welfare.

And you can do Taking and Sending for your mother.

This is an ancient exercise to help others. If you have a connection with someone - you can actually help them or heal them - but either way, you will receive benefit for doing this.

The exercise of Taking & Sending works like this:

You visualize the person you want to help. And you visualize that all their troubles, pains and sorrows are like gray smoke around them.

Then you breathe in this gray smoke - sort of sucking it off of them. You breathe it in and it simply dispels in your heart and does not harm you.

Then as you exhale your breath - you visualize that you breathe out a white light of pure energy that is like an elexir - that bathes the person in a sort of test tube of white light, and this relieves their suffering, pains and sorrows.

Then when you inhale- once again you breathe in the gray smoke around them that holds their suffering - and once again when you exhale, you breathe out the while light to purify them.

And you keep doing this...

You can do this every day for your mother, and this will help her wherever she is... because you have a connection with her.

The Dalai Lama would not dispute this. In 1981, at the Hyatt Hotel in Vancouver, I personally heard him give this teaching of Taking & Sending.

Some times when I am driving in the city, and I see a poor person on the street in an unfortunate situation, I give them a few whiffs (if you will) as I go by. I breathe in their gray negativity - and blast them with some white light. I think every little bit helps...

Thought you might want to try this to be closer to your mother. I also think it will help facilitate you meeting her in your dreams...